To home educate or send them back (Opinion piece)

Many parents have been fretting over whether to send their children to school in-person or to have them continue home-based online learning offered by the schools. 

For some parents it’s a matter of the coronavirus and having somebody that is immune-deficient at home. For other parents it is a matter of the parents need to work and they work in person and they need somewhere to send their child so that their child is not home alone. These are two situations where the parents do not have as much a choice. There are other situations where the parent does have a choice and it is to these parents that I am writing this essay.

What are some of the issues that these parents are facing?

One of the issues is socializing with other students of their age. A second is the quality of person-to-person education versus distance-education. Thirdly, is the feeling of inadequacy on the part of the parent. And finally, it is the level of patience of the parent when dealing with educational matters.

Socializing with other students of their age.

Having peers around you that are going through the same things as you are seems very important to a young person’s emotional growth.  However, in years past, they had to learn to socialize with children of all ages and adults as well.  If there are other children of various ages in your immediate circle, this should not be a problem for your child.

The schools do not always ensure that the students are maturing as they should.  They leave that up to the parents, although this is changing.  There is a book called ‘All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten.’ The title of the book says a lot.  How do I ensure I have a socially well-adjusted child, who is self-secure and can communicate effectively?

How would you like to see your neighbors’ children act toward you, a stranger’s children?  Would you like to see them showing respect to adults?  Then teach your children to act in that manner.

How would you like them to interact with your children?  Teach your children to act that way too.

There are bullies at schools.  This is a major problem and has been for as long as there have been schools.  The teachers used to stop the bullying when they saw it but are not doing that as much as they used to.  They can no longer expel a student from school for bullying.  They can put them in detention for a while, but the bully returns to the classroom with a grudge after that.  Some parents have pulled their children out of school because their child was bullied.  If this is a concern for you, you need to deal with it in a polite but firm manner.  And you need to consider if is it better for your child to learn to deal with bullies, or to avoid them.  They will have to deal with them eventually, in the workplace or on the streets. 

Some children are at risk of abuse at home and by sending your own child to school, this could help convince the other parent to send their child and reduce that risk. 

I have written of the dangers of ‘social advancement’ in the past and I’m certain I will do so again in the future.  If this is a problem in your school district, perhaps you are better teaching your child at home, where your child can learn at a faster pace compared to what they are covering in school.  It will lead to less boredom for your child.  

The quality of person to person education versus distance education.

In the early years of grade school (k-3) children need more personalized education and do not yet know how to handle a computer to the extent needed for distance education. 

If the parent is in a position to help the child learn his/her ABC’s and 123’s it should be the parent’s prerogative to keep the child home if they wish. 

If the parent does not feel comfortable teaching the child to read and write, the child has a better chance of learning it at school than at home. 

If it were as easy as turning on a TV set (or computer screen) there would be no problem in the USA with illiteracy due to all the shows on PBS and other such channels. 

In high school (9-12) most students should be able to learn from reading books and having online conversations with their teachers.  Some students still need that classroom learning style to be able to fully take in the information.  There definitely needs to be a back and forth conversation on the various subject matters for full understanding. 

Certain subjects need a ‘lab’ experience. 

A very important example is vocational courses. 

If a student is interested in construction, they need the opportunity to work with others as a team on projects in construction. 

Electrical work must have an instructor to point out where danger might appear in wiring.

Welding. How many parents have the tools for welding just sitting around the house?  And, how many jobs are unfilled in the welding field because there are not enough trained welders.  Need I say any more.

Animal husbandry, cosmetology and many other vocational fields exist that need to have hands on training. 

Science classes.  There are some experiments that can be done at home, but others need to have an actual lab to perform.

Physics.  While many of the basic experiments can be done at home, there are some that need some lab equipment that parents cannot supply.

Chemistry. Hydrochloric acid can cause a nasty hole in your couch if it gets knocked over by accident.  I prefer things like this be handled in a lab.

Biology.  Really, do you want a dead frog being cut apart on your kitchen table?

The in-between grades (4-8).  This is where the parent has the most choice.  It largely depends on the student and the parent.  Some students will need an outside (non-parent) authority figure to push them along.  Other students are fine with just the parent helping them.  Some need the change of scenery from home distractions to a more rigid atmosphere at school without the TV and computer to be able to learn more productively.  You need to know your child and talk to them heart-to-heart about what they need.  I see no problem with sending one child to school while keeping the other at home as long as there is not a health issue involved.   

The feeling of inadequacy on the part of the parent.

We all have self-doubts.  Anyone that doesn’t doubt him/herself at some point is a fool.  This doesn’t mean you are any worse than the teacher at school. 

In Colorado, the requirements for being a substitute teacher are that you must have a high-school diploma and have taken a 20-hour online course about teaching.  If you have a high-school diploma, you are almost to the point you are equal with the teachers in Colorado.  Watch a few videos online about teaching, and you’ll be there.

Admitting that you don’t know everything might feel like a betrayal to your child, but by the time they are in middle school, they already know this.  And in high school they think you don’t know anything.  Be honest up front.  You know a lot, but not everything.  And what you don’t know, you can learn with your child.  The path of discovery will build a stronger bond between you.

The level of patience of the parent when dealing with educational matters.

Let’s face it.  Everyone who has a child has been frustrated with the child at some point.  It started right away with the not-sleeping-through-the-night syndrome.  And the “why are you crying now?” problem every parent has faced.  You made it through that, you can make it through this.  At least now, you might get an answer when you ask about crying.  And your child might learn a thing about trying your patience when they see you crying in frustration.